Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I'd forgotten my phone, I tried to hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You would think it would smell at some point. Or at least attract enough insects to annoy you. I don't know how some people manage to live in filth sometimes. I mean three YEARS?
emadee 0
oh ew thats awful
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
firebirdjim 0
YDI, who grounds a kid for hitting a shop vac on accident? Also your husband deserved it for standing right next to the mirror.
captainobvious07 0
wrong fml....
tonyDlolli 0
comment fail. wrong FML.
vanaathiel 13
f*ck the snakes life
whatever2304 0
so i would deal with snakes if it ment i could live in australia.
HoorayForFML 0
Well that's what you get for not cleaning your car.
The_Cait 0
Hahaha I wouldn't be surprised if there were something living in my car, as well. I don't clutter it, but the windows get stuck open sometimes and remain that way for days...and I never have a need to go into the back seat...something could easily have crawled/flew in. Dang, now I have the urge to go out and search my car!
gummibehrs 4
I know the feeling, my car is full of sand, old doughnuts, paycheck stubs from 3 years ago, and soggy moldy rice cakes stuffed into dr pepper.
orchids_torturer 0
PIG. the orchids' torturer has spoken.
AshleyRose784 0
you cleaned your car for the first time in THREE YEARS?! You deserve anything you found in there, that's just filthy
ChocolatexGames 0
I'm sick of these god damn snakes, in my god damn car.
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
at least u didnt get bitten or anything.