Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I'd forgotten my phone, I tried to hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You would think it would smell at some point. Or at least attract enough insects to annoy you. I don't know how some people manage to live in filth sometimes. I mean three YEARS?
emadee 0
oh ew thats awful
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Comments (148)
Einstein714 0
what's with all these cry babies when there's clearly no FML
picturetaker 0
you swallow around 8 spiders in your life. I'm sure the snake wasn't huge! & it was dead.
letitbe56 0
Not sure how the spiders are relevant, but that statistic is entirely false. http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp
The_Cait 0
I love you for using and spreading the good word of snopes!
xClarkGable 0
I love snopes. I used it a lot during the election.
wyld3fyr3 3
at least u didint reach back there when it was alive, and have it freaked out and telling u that its there
codesway 0
o
Qup 0
that is so disgusting. the snake probably died of too much or too little heat, since they're cold blooded. jeesh! you should clean your car out once a week, not every THREE YEARS!
shananigans 0
While three years is a bit much, i don't know anybody who cleans their car once a week. If you clean your car well it should stay clean for more than a week unless you're an incredible slob, in which case you probably wouldn't be taking the time to clean your car once a week anyway.
The_Cait 0
Exactly what I was thinking. Who has the time or the need to clean their car every week? Just don't throw shit all over the place and wipe down the console/vacuum the seats and floors every month [or even few months if you don't live in a dusty area and don't track mess into your car].
ahoyhoy123 0
lol this actually made me laugh abit.
99MDC 0
That's disgusting. If you can't keep a snake, you sure as hell won't keep a girlfriend in a mess like that.
hahahalol1212 0
Maybe it just needed a ride. poor guy ;-)
deaditegirl 0
YDI. Try cleaning up after yourself more often than once every 3 years. That's nasty.
Adarra 0
im from south aus too :p and grr i know alot of people who go through that stuff, but u shlda xD cleaned ur car rofl!