Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML
Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
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Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Ingenious! If only that kind of creativity could be used for something more productive..
chocolatefrog28 29
Well, if you need a silver lining, your boyfriend is a problem solver. It's a good quality!
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Comments (68)
ThickLager 5
tell that worthless chub to go pound sand. Nothing good about a worthless lazy stinky person tryin to get in your bed.
Xotoolyxo 16
And the truth comes out, ask him to take the teddy bear and weed back
rockhead1270 5
Maybe he didn't want your parents to find it and smoke it
Vix_Sparda 11
and im one of the lonely single guys. nice choice. dipshit.
squideth 18
And yet you seem so nice! Not.
AdrianG 7
Wooooow :o
Goblin182 27
Dear OP, you are not his girlfriend, you are his drug mule. If your parents found the pot in the bear, in your room, do you thik they would belive you knew nothing about it? Do you think your boyfriend would have admitted it to them.
thew_fml 14
do you smoke weed with your boyfriend? if so he was doing you a favor.
Omniprism 15
Must not be that great of weed or else you would have smelled it.
DenBriZel 31
Time to leave him.
japtap81 16
Smuggle is the keyword. If u paid attention more than likely she's smoking weed too. Guys don't smuggle if the girl doesn't use. She either thought it was funny or she thought it was stupid because it wasn't necessary. Or both. So I suggest before u start going off by telling her to dump the guy, she could be doing it too and it was an extra gift to her.