Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML
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Top comments
Katers22 0
I would slap you if you licked your finger then touched me. YDI, for way intruding a thing called personal space.
jillz 0
Did you actually put your spit on her face? F Her L
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Comments (161)
FreedomFirst 0
Gross! You should never touch someone else without their permission. As for the licking, that's something moms do to their toddlers. YDI.
untoldfame 3
gaaaah ross
wbrycem 0
A) proofread. B) why would you touch a stranger's face lol
oooooBhall 0
If its sauce why would you lick your finger in the first place ... and at least you didn't lick it off lol
tehninja 0
I think I speak on behalf of all females that doing that is neither funny or cute.
arty191 0
reaction: holy crap...this dumbshit's getting an asswhoopin
katherinebby17 28
burn lol
FMLwrestler 0
IDK what was worse, touching her acne scab (if you're squeamish), or her reaction (if she wasn't interested in you at all). I'd like to hear what happened afterwards! haha
Neoncast 0
Woah.
RyaWolf 0
bar-b-que sauce you say??? are you sure you're not jeffrey dahmer in reincarnated??