Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, my husband hasn’t touched me in ages. I bought sexy lingerie and walked around the house in them. My husband wouldn’t budge. When I asked him why he didn't want to get physical, he told me, “You want me to be honest? Do some sit ups and butt squats, then I’ll be all over you like cheese on macaroni.” FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML
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Top comments
briannak91 0
:( you poor thing.
KVKdragon 26
comments like that make me wonder why men say that. does the man want sex or not?
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Comments (163)
lexiluvchica 4
wow reading more and more if these FML's and I'm realizing guys are honest shallow jackasses...u r probably beautiful btw
pacmanmonster 0
Aww. I'm sorry. that sucks. I love chubby tummies.
Karnezar 2
How come when a girl makes fun of a guys penis it's a joke, but when a guy makes fun of a girls weight it's a means for divorce/break-up? :S
djinnyf 12
It's not right either... Why does someone always have to compare and play victim??!!
monsterbunny09 0
What a jackass!!
bigbadblackman 2
DAMN!
veedub94 0
that's f'd what a Dick he could at least show u some damn respect ya kno
LittleMissBroken 11
divorce?
mattbrister 0
ab ripper x
keechigai 0
ouch :(
Perci 5
Wow. Well if she were very pregnant, I could see him saying that like "Ugh, I don't want to stick my penis in there and poke my baby in the head." Otherwise, withold sex until he changes his attitude!