Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
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Top comments
KarelPhoenix 0
You sir, are an idiot. Smoking kills. Dx
NathanKett 0
1st person is right. I shall wait for the 'I smoked and now I have lung cancer' FML.
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Comments (149)
youfaililaugh 0
YDI for smoking you dumbshit. Do you WANT lung cancer?? Suicidal idiot/
blindwhisper 0
ouch !
happycloud_fml 0
Lesson hopefully learned.
wienerwagon 0
Hammer77777, you are an idiot.
OLOtheDemigodess 0
That's the LEAST smoking could do to you Tiime to quit!
Flutist 3
Now your feet have to be addicted to? When you start lighting yourself on fire, time to rethink your choices.
Unstepped 0
"Lifechoice" seems to be thrown around a lot lately, thanks to the media and this BS society we live in where simple freedoms are mocked by those who choose not to do something?, sounds quite stupid to me. Fact is none of you would ever say this to the OP's face, so continue pathetic rants behind a computer, I'm -sure- you will change the OPers "Life-choices". Also... you are seventeen years old "time to rethink your choices"?, please please comment after actually being out of the womb for more then seventeen years.
Isa_fml 20
Many personal choices affect those around you. Get off your high horse.
Isa_fml 20
Haha, ouch. Don't listen to the self-righteous douchebags, by the way. Also, don't do that again. Burns hurt.
englishrosie 0
smoking kills, totally deserved it;)
talbot008 0
ydi for smoking