Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML
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Top comments
Lehk 9
you should have made a show of putting in some vizine and told them "forgive me, my new contacts are bothering my eyes"
sdcrazy1018 0
I'm sure someone said something about your eyes to you....and guess what? All you had to say was, "Yea my contacts are bothering me." Yea, this is real FML-worthy *shakes head*
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Comments (49)
synix 0
That's disappointing... but unless you were acting stoned it probably won't matter.
suaveneanderthal 0
soooo did they come out and ask you if you showed up stoned? because then you could of been like " hey you know what im not under the influence of marijuana right now" or did they all give you weird looks upon entering the room? to which you could of said " hey guys just in case you're wondering if i have pink eye or something these are new contacts. Either way **** YOUR LIFE for even leaving the option of them thinking you were stoned out there if you knew they really might think that. this problem could of been easily and i mean easily avoided.
hellokittywhore 0
you proably accidently put them in backwards babe I used to do that sll the time when I first got mine just be careful because I scratched my eye taking them out when they were backwards too quickly... I had to wear an eye patch the first 2 weeks at a new high school :( but it was accually a great conversation starter!! lol :)
harryluvsginny 0
u could've just told them it was allergies - i know mine are really bad right now
TakeItEasyPeople 0
i'm just waiting for the poor schmoe who says "first", but takes a long time to post the page
xCrackerx 3
SEVENTEENTH!
Person1233 13
Contacts can be a bitch.. Couldn't you explain you got new contacts?
rlet 1
why u didn't go with glasses ?? I meant the same thing happens to me with contacts so I just don't wear them. u have to get a better fit for ur eyes u can damage ur cornea
xxCFHxx 0
Yeah, and glasses make you look smarter, I would guess. And if the OP didn't act like he's stoned,, and they won't think you he was*. *Though I've been told I look like a stoner, too, so whatever.
expen_dable 0
being mistaken for a stoner when you aren't would be the worst. but being stoned and nobody knowing is win-win.
The_Pleb 0
First!!
totalbadass 0
Fail.
Lehk 9
you should have made a show of putting in some vizine and told them "forgive me, my new contacts are bothering my eyes"
synix 0
Visine is commonly used to cover up being stoned. Bad idea.
jenn_ftw 0
I got that all through high school... haha. fyl
sodahhhr 0
Heather Locklear leads the NBA in blocks per game.
cerebellum_fml 0
i look stoned all the time and its not my fault.
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
no its your moms fault for smoking crack when you were in the womb
sdcrazy1018 0
I'm sure someone said something about your eyes to you....and guess what? All you had to say was, "Yea my contacts are bothering me." Yea, this is real FML-worthy *shakes head*