Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cat4651 15
I would think your eye would be a little red and noticeably irritated after that- signs that should prove your story true to your boss!
Yazoo77 16
If that's your first time being late, or you almost never show up late, then I don't understand why your boss doesn't believe you... but if you show up late a lot, I can see where is coming from.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (40)
MrKilgore 14
first!
MzZombicidal 36
Boooooooo!
_guy_j 12
You need to leave
cat4651 15
I would think your eye would be a little red and noticeably irritated after that- signs that should prove your story true to your boss!
MrKilgore 14
Right. I would think so too.
Rkikkas9713 25
Coming from personal experience, the visibility of leftover irritation usually fades after 10-30 minutes
18drakerad 18
Or the boss would think they were high
Invictus_Anima 5
Let's not forget the fact that OP had to look for her glasses, which means she normally just uses the contacts. That should also be a clear indication that the story was true to OP'S boss.
TrustStolen 16
do it to him and show him you're being for real :)))
pauliegon 18
I really don't think that's a good idea.
TrustStolen 16
v true
JMichael 26
Somw people just don't know the struggle that comes with brushing your teeth
Yazoo77 16
If that's your first time being late, or you almost never show up late, then I don't understand why your boss doesn't believe you... but if you show up late a lot, I can see where is coming from.
MassiDelta 28
That last sentence made me crack up!
namibian 13
Ouch!
CliffyB03 28
Apparently people are having difficulties with brushing their teeth this week.
saymynamess 19
You have a valid excuse. However, you need to be convincing when you deliver your story. You don't have to tell the details of what happened if it sounds silly. Try to put some flavors to the story so that it sounds genuine.
Econforthwin 15
Toothpaste in the eye is a killer too. It's like a freshening mace. On the positive side, yours won't have cavities.