Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
alternative-facts 6
OUCH! This made me cringe and clutch at my own nipples in sympathetic pain. Go to a hospital. You probably need stitches. Or you could go to a piercer, and have them put in a nipple ring to keep the two halves from flapping open. Depends on what you're into. But get it checked out now. A cut that deep needs to be seen to. Go. Now. Stop reading FMLs and go...
Chazzster 32
Sorry OP - That sounds awful. You need to go to the emergency room. Never load a dishwasher with knife points up!
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Comments (23)
DonPandon 15
I hope you get better soon :s
TheNewGuy03 29
My entire body tensed up reading this. Ahh. Doctor. Now.
MissMizery 19
I hope you're writing this in the emergency room
naturegrl 9
Omg that makes me cringe! I'm so sorry OP!
jcash52426 5
You need to be more carful and pay attention to your surroundings.
runswithlions 3
OW!!! I mentally cringed so hard it gave me a headache! I hope the healing process is peaceful OP.
ItsAnanya 25
My entire body cringed and I had to smack the wall to prevent myself from screaming. what the ****. Go get stitches, you descriptive chinchilla.
AftonRobotics 1
I looked down at your profile, just to make sure that you are a male.
rldostie 19
Every mother everywhere who has repetitively told everyone to place the knives blades down in the washer is now vindicated.
Jacobus_G 3
butterfly bandages available at your local pharmacy