Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML
Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML
Today, I was in a college band rehearsal when I got a call, saying, "Your car was just hit by a tree!" I said, "Yeah, right!" and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walked in and told me that my car was totaled. I then went and stood in the rain to watch a tree get cut off my car. FML
Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML
Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML
Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML
Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML
Today, I ran a stop sign that was completely obscured by foliage, in a city I was unfamiliar with. A city bus then T-boned me. My car is now totalled, and I’m afraid this will now go to court. FML
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FYLbeotches 5
Tree murderer
KeannaLove 32
I really don't see how you can mix those two up... Well at least if the hospital finds you crazy you'll get a little vacation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
piccalo 4
that's a nonsense mistake...lol
tiberhit 6
To much of a coincidence here I think, did you ask the home owner for a lift to work afterward?
girl112891 7
I was thinking the same thing!
SpiritOfFire 8
The hospital wishes to reseaech your heightened mentality! I'd rather you have the reflex of avoiding manslaughter than avoiding embarassment.
chris36taylor 2
Maybe he was going to fast and he only had a limited amount of time to react to this situation
Roevera 14
Maybe they loved that damn tree! Maybe they're some old couple who planted it when they were lovers in high school! The tree was representing their love and OP wrecklessly crashed into it while hallucinating children on the road! Poor old folks!
mama2b3 20
F the trees life.
bizarre_ftw 22
Well odd things do come in threes, I wonder how a tree plans to post an FML... All the same, let's all keep our eyes open
msjoyfull84 0
Did they give you a drive to work after?
conqueror57 11
They should skip straight to drug testing you.
ladyLALAA 29
Next time just run down the child, everyone knows swerving wildly causes accidents...
Furrywhiplash 14
Running down a child would be an accident in itself. Your argument is invalid.
ladyLALAA 29
52, it's not an argument, it's called a joke. And before I get a tirade of thumbs down and hate, once again, a joke.
Furrywhiplash 14
53- I apologize I don't find the thought of people driving over children funny. I'm clearly in need of a better sense of humor...
ladyLALAA 29
Oh don't worry, it's not something I make a habit of.
downtime 13
56, Just acknowledge you didn't get it, the pretentiousness is really unwarranted. People make jokes all the time that would be horrific in reality that you wouldn't think twice about.
ladyLALAA 29
Thanks 131, some people here need to pull the trees out of their asses. If you don't like the joke GTFO! Don't read it, it's so much easier to scroll down then moan like a little girl..
saranndipidy 0
you probably need an eye exam as well.