Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML
Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML
Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I know how you feel! It's the same thing that happens to me when I try to use a garbage bag as a condom;)
SkoomaKi 28
I can just tell you're a nosey person! :D Shoot me now, it's for the best.
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Comments (126)
tony1891 22
are you related to Uma Thurman?
lotrgeek 10
My boyfriend has a huge nose and I think it suits him perfectly! He looks gorgeous!
DocBastard 40
The better to smell you with, my dear...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Golly, Grandma! What big ey--" "Bitch, shut up and get in mah belleh!" And then the wolf ate Little Riding Hood, and waltzed away. Until he was ran over by A fat woman on a rascal. THE END.
skyeyez9 25
If it bothers you and makes you feel self conscious about it, there is always cosmetic surgery. Lots of people get nose jobs. Mine was broken and healed crooked, I had rhinoplasty surgery to Straighten it back to normal.
Eiregal2 10
I smashed my nose against concrete once and had to get an op to fix it back up too.best thing I ever did,my nose is better then it used to look and I can breath easier at night. Without really knowing it I had a bit of a blockage,they took care of it for me. My nose is cute now
esines 9
Not everyone has the money..
cornielious 1
Well why dont you just quit having such a big nose?
nofearjenshere 12
Not something you can just quit. (unless you decide to pay big bucks for plastic surgery). I feel for OP, a big nose is something I'm going I have to live with for the rest of my life.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
One does not simply 'quit having a big nose'.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Is your last name Goldstein by chance?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Now I've found a Jew!" "Hey!"
challan 19
Boo my friend. Just boo.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
No one likes Jewish references? Lol. Guess its just me.
saltycookies 5
Are you Jewish?
CanadianCutie22 16
I'm sure it's not that bad
KitaBrah 0
Jew nose
FatTony2010 4
Nose job might be in order!