Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
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Top comments
jonnied23 20
You shouldn't do that at other people's houses.
p888 0
Offer them a 'drink'
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Comments (204)
slushyslime 7
Seriously !!! Why would you EVER do that ?!?!?!?
Zedd_fml 8
OP tell them you are preparing for doom'sday, or just seen an episode of survivor.
maniaccrab 0
He wanted to be like bear grylles... Kids asleep? Better drink my own piss.
alexup24 13
I'm guessing OP didn't get paid
MysticKnight 3
More like you didn't get paid judging by the look of your face.
GothicAngel17 24
Why the **** would you even consider doing that?!
MysticKnight 3
What would you do if there's no bathroom and you are not allow to go out of the house? There you have your answer.
Michaelsgirl04 9
mystic: oh I don't know...maybe hold it?
mandadarling 10
One girl, one cup?
challan 19
I laughed my ass off when I read your comment. The FML crowd never likes the ones that I do, but I wanted you to know that I enjoyed it!
MysticKnight 3
17- 1 girl requires 2 cups
eman1972 4
Ha, I was thinking the same thing.
hthelittleone 10
61: I don't know what kind of girls you've been hanging around, but I'm pretty sure 1 girl only requires 1 cup..
HannahJoButtons 2
61 is referring to bra cups...though the comment isn't very clever, apparently neither are the people who totally missed the point
shayshayshazam 14
That's the epitome of awkward.
nightwishs 13
Wtf... Just wtf!!! Why?
Bobientje 3
How can someone in their right mind get that idea?
perdix 31
No, the problem is that you call it 'going potty" when referring to yourself. Don't worry, the food service industry will have plenty of opportunities for someone with your skills, that is, as long as there are rude customers out there.
JasonEP 3
I thought the same thing about the "going potty" statement
mattorama 15
+1 to both of you. Who the heck over the age of four uses the phrase "go potty?"
Shafreeka 8
175- I actually do. However, I have a 5 year old daughter, and it's just something picked up from her.
SkoomaKi 28
Go outside? But try not to make a racket like the funeral guy in the last FML. Next time (if there is a next time), don't piss in a cup. Nothing good can come from that.
Amethyst888 14
Nothing good at all! Whatever happened to doing normal things with cups? Like you know drinking, poisoning the king, testing the water cycle, and the other the usual cup activities... Not really liking any of this peeing, pooping, and just generally unsanitary practices with cups these days...
SkoomaKi 28
Completely agree! What did cups do to deserve these atrocities?
THE_A_TEEN 28
The Cups murdered my family, I vowed vengeance on them.
ambowew 7
I instantly thought of the chick getting caught pissing in Sex Drive. You filthy animal, you're worse than an untrained dog. At least it knows you can piss outside.