Today, I'm over COVID but have apparently lost my sense of smell and taste. My boyfriend, who thinks he’s a comedian, said at least I can’t complain his farts stink and should have no problem swallowing instead of spitting during blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend has only showered about three times since we’ve been on lockdown. Our whole place smells like a sewer main burst in a pro-sports locker room filled with sweaty nut sacks and dead feet. His excuse? "It’s not like we have anywhere to go babe." I can’t even eat around him. FML
Today, my husband is a chef and now he has Covid, he's so desperate not to lose his senses of taste or smell that he’s started gargling vodka to kill the virus in his throat faster. He’s even started squirting it up his nose, then crying because of the pain. I give up. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Enjoy those "disabilities" while they last. I had some anosmia for about a year. It had its upside.
TheJordLord 4
some dudes really don't know how good they've got it. **** I could care less whether she spat or swallowed, a solid bj would be fantastic in any way. don't worry son, you'll grow up and realize they stop, and you'll wish you weren't such a douche like the rest of us
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Enjoy those "disabilities" while they last. I had some anosmia for about a year. It had its upside.
Khay33 12
Sometimes, just sometimes, people should have a sense of humor
ChipBoundary 9
A lady never spits. 😋
wendy_d 4
It’s been two months since I had Covid. I still can’t smell lots of things but farts are the one that I’ve noticed the most.
TheJordLord 4
some dudes really don't know how good they've got it. **** I could care less whether she spat or swallowed, a solid bj would be fantastic in any way. don't worry son, you'll grow up and realize they stop, and you'll wish you weren't such a douche like the rest of us