Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a picnic by the river in the forest with my grandma. I forgot to bring a swimsuit, and wasn't wearing any underwear either, so she just made me go naked. I got caught fully naked by some dirt bikers when I went to find a spot to pee. My grandma just laughed, really hard. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
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Top comments
SkyBirdy 5
I hope you were wearing underwear.
The_DoritoNinja 4
Old people are the best. They can get away with almost anything!
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Comments (124)
midnight21 8
I read cowgirl boots and hit you deserved it.
GawdamitNappa 4
It's in Texas. Boots are implied.
rocker_chick105 31
But.... I thought you were a zombie!!
theangelfromhell 6
Next time, put some leggings with your dress. :)
kupbel 8
That would make it look ugly
FireFlie07 20
Hope you were wearing something under the dress. Might want to wear a pair of bike shorts under the dress next time.
Torva_fml 16
Wait... You're telling me that's not a super awesome nun-costume?!
shannonjnae2706 0
If you've lived in Texas for any extended period of time, you should have known to check the weather forecast for the day before choosing your outfit. I live in the Texas panhandle, where the wind blows 24/7, so I've learned to check the weather every day. Sorry, but from one Texan to another, YDI.
stedeh 0
I been tryna figure out what YDI means....
twisted_cherub 14
86- That's about what I said, only not as nicely, and I got thumbed down for it. I just thought anyone with a brain would check the weather for appropriate picnic wear.
ocean4venue 0
Noor never fails to amuse me. :3
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Noor my GF can easily relate to you lol. Last weekend she was wearing a long skirt that showed her ankles when the wind blew; some older ladies whispered to her about covering them...
linkinpark98 24
Well, you learn something new about your family members each day. :)
PrimeEvilTahir 24
^ also adding to my comment. If whatever happened to OP happened in a Muslim family, we won't have grandpa whistling; that old man would be going through a proper heart attack lol!