Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a picnic by the river in the forest with my grandma. I forgot to bring a swimsuit, and wasn't wearing any underwear either, so she just made me go naked. I got caught fully naked by some dirt bikers when I went to find a spot to pee. My grandma just laughed, really hard. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
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Top comments
SkyBirdy 5
I hope you were wearing underwear.
The_DoritoNinja 4
Old people are the best. They can get away with almost anything!
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Comments (124)
MissssUnderstood 13
You said it happened repeatedly.. So why didn't you just sit down the first time it happend?! -.-
TheDrifter 24
Because Texans are kind, sharing people? Sounds like nobody minded much.
Cad6 24
This FML gives me an amazing mental picture.
ElricMustang 23
Yea; at Muslim strip clubs, they all chant, "Put it on! Put it on!" as the girls cover themselves more :P
Livencountry 5
Noor was the FML drawing contest today or next Tuesday??
citymayer 7
That's what you get for wearing cowboy boots with a dress.
citymayer 7
You must all have HORRIBLE taste if you think cowboy boots go with a dress...
Lauren324 18
Grandpas getting frisky!
starwind3438 9
I find this easy to fap to.
booboo1997 3
Ever hear of spandex?
SkoomaKi 28
That would make the grandpa **** in his pants. *sorry for bad mental picture*
TheDrifter 24
Spandex minidress for the next outing? Fine idea.
JeanVaJean 6
Hey Op, don't feel bad. The Queen herself faced the same embarrassment. Except, it was worse for her of course, with all the cameras around. Anyway, I mentioned that cause, the royal family ladies started wearing outfits that have curtain weights sewn into the hem to save them from such embarrassing situations. Simple, yet effective! Erm.. Sorry if I bore you all :-]
Torva_fml 16
Not at all, I can honestly say I've learned something today!
ifoundalaska 11
Yes, and that's actually I great idea, I think I might try it :-)
ajwc 0
That's interesting.
twisted_cherub 14
You wore a flowing dress, on a windy day, to a picnic and you're looking for sympathy?