Today, I slid into a seat in a very busy foodcourt that was jam packed full of seniors at the mall. It was the only seat available, so I was quick to jump into it. It was soaked with urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
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Top comments
xMaeLA 24
I will never eat in a busy food court. Lesson learned. Thank you for letting me live vicariously through you. Sorry about your pissy pants, OP.
ConfederateSlave 2
So you could say you were wet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Comments (11)
RichardPencil 32
Don't blame seniors! It was probably kids who were aiming at a gingerbread house and missing.
xMaeLA 24
I will never eat in a busy food court. Lesson learned. Thank you for letting me live vicariously through you. Sorry about your pissy pants, OP.
Tripartita 45
I've been there before, OP. And then mall security lead me out of the building because—allegedly—you're not supposed to eat meals on the public toilet even if it's the only seat available.
Memeosaurus 14
Looks like someone forgot to wear their adult diaper.
CamBamShamDaMan 26
No wonder no one was sitting there
BigN987 0
Sorry about that. I was expecting soda or some sauce. I'll remember to check the seat before I sit
Frabens 1
Wow! Urine a really bad situation!
cootiequeen4444 11
Oh dear lawd. I would have screamed, made a face of pure agonized horror, then run to the bathroom sobbing and once there call someone reliable for help (and clean clothes), still sobbing and occasionally yelling 'i didnt know people in food courts were such disgusting animals' in (likely futile) hopes passerbys will get the picture I didn't piss myself. **** your life, OP, **** it so hard! ... Actually, wait, that came out weird...
Jay703 7
yeah, that's probably why it was available.
ChunkyBuiscuit 13
Let's just say urine trouble!