Today, when he came back to bed, I asked my flatmate who I've been sleeping since the start of lockdown, whether he had washed his hands after going to pee. He said he barely touched his dick, so he didn't need to. He likes putting his fingers in my mouth when we have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my roommate to spit in the toilet instead of the sink so I wouldn't have to touch it. When I rinsed the sink after brushing my teeth, he said, "Why would you touch the sink? It’s gross." FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
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Top comments
xXPikachuXx 21
Unless you don't already give him blow jobs, I don't really see how it's any different than that. It's not like he's peeing on his hands. It's not like he's washing his dick every time he pees. You giving a ******* is basically the same as sucking his fingers after he held his dick to pee.
boogerjt 6
Sort of a ******** by proxy
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Comments (8)
boogerjt 6
Sort of a ******** by proxy
RichardPencil 32
Cheer up! His **** is probably so filthy, the diseases you are contracting from it are far more serious than the ones you get from his dirty fingers.
xXPikachuXx 21
Unless you don't already give him blow jobs, I don't really see how it's any different than that. It's not like he's peeing on his hands. It's not like he's washing his dick every time he pees. You giving a ******* is basically the same as sucking his fingers after he held his dick to pee.
FinkiusMaximus 9
Am I to assume you've never performed oral sex? If he's not washing his dick, or not washing his dick-touching hands, it's pretty much the same thing germ-wise.
clover1983 12
Do you not give him head? It’s no different. Now if he shit, Ok I understand but not for pissing.
jbuckets_404 39
Hope you make him shower from now on before sex; dick, balls, & groin area all get real smelly from sweat quickly.
DoctorPALO 14
and you shower every time before sex too. No spontaneous sex!
DoctorPALO 14
Does he never touch you anywhere else before he puts his fingers in your mouth? If you're already giving him head or he fingers you at all beforehand, I don't see the issue.
galvinizd 7
Meanwhile you want him to go down on you.. his cum can live for a week in your snatch... so he's basically felching you.