Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML
Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML
Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML
Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML
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Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
Shiny things basically shout at cats to play with them.
ManInTheMachine 20
I think it's safe to say your cat is purr-ty inconsiderate. The long term effects could've been catastrophic. Litterally.
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Comments (113)
MelTheGreat 23
Shiny things basically shout at cats to play with them.
darth_luke 8
Who says shiny things only attract cats? That's how I met my girlfriend
Ugi 27
She was shiny? What is she? C3PO?
Pleonasm 36
He was talking about the shiny Chansey he caught in Pokemon. Ever since, they've been inseperable.
darth_luke 8
No no. He was right. It was 3P0. Look at my username ;D
Proughboy 7
Bro if you're dating C3PO you're a stud. Me and Artoo hooked up last weekend. Wanna double date some time?
unjustlychicken 10
Just be glad your cat is okay!
zingline89 18
Yeah they said that right in the FML
happle 21
My cat is worth more to me than any expensive decoration. I'd cry for days if he needed surgery. :c
sens3sfailing 25
The decoration actually isn't expensive, it was just a joke that it was like it was beca... Ah screw it, I give up.
natsaysheyyy 16
38: That's selfless of you to care more about your pet's wellbeing than money. Most people aren't like that nowadays, so I applaud you! Even if you didn't understand OP's joke lol.
Cbizzlez 10
At least you broke even :)
obviousboy 8
You're an idiot.
Cbizzlez 10
Should've made it a winky face it would've made the sarcasm easier to read... O well
strawberrywine22 30
Ummm no, even then it wouldn't make any sense. Even for sarcasm.
stoych 19
Lovely pic. :0)
ManInTheMachine 20
I think it's safe to say your cat is purr-ty inconsiderate. The long term effects could've been catastrophic. Litterally.
ScarletFever67 6
We need to stop the cat puns right meow.
ManInTheMachine 20
Yeah, that was pretty weak. I'm not feline very well, so that might be why.
TML329 14
Well at lest her cats in purrfect Heath
aJaguarinRed 9
Pussy. That was the best pun ever and you meow it!
Carmstro 13
Stop kitten around, guys.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
These puns are a-paw-lling
Oceanlondon 5
This just proves that there needs to be an app designer for FML's for cats.
howdeedoo 22
Why? And how?
sens3sfailing 25
Why: because some people would isolate themselves to cat FML's? How: find a stranger on the street, talk really fast with a thick New York accent and tell them all about the app and what you want a leave fast after giving them a folder full of cat pictures/memes
perdix 31
If you were married, your husband would have eaten it.
darth_luke 8
All of it.
aJaguarinRed 9
Mmmmm... Tasty tasty tinsel.
smallshaft 10
The tinsel or the cat?
brackaman 18
The tree.
aJaguarinRed 9
Both. With ketchup.
ks23 9
Xmas tree decor is not generally cat friendly
flea_of_death 23
I hope you took the rest of the tinsel off the tree, because if there's one thing I've learned from the cats at my house, they NEVER learn their lesson after doing something stupid.
TML329 14
I have friends like that too
BellaBelle_fml 23
My cat used to pee on only one of the stovetop burners. He did that a few times and when we would turn the burner on and it heated up the urine, oh man did it reek! So we decided to leave that burner on. When he went to pee on it he burned his buns. He never peed on the burner again. So in some cases the cat can learn from their stupidity.
ALlamaOnFire 20
My cat pees in the fireplace. I even saw him try to attempt it while the fire was on:')
gracehi 33
52, I don't like how you set your cat up to get burned like that. Seems like excessive punishment, even if it was effective. I hope you wouldn't do something like that to a child.
siegheil_fml 4
Cats are worthless
Welshite 40
My dad once had a dog who ate painter's tape...oh and a candle, and his toys. There are just some pets who like to ingest things they shouldn't.
CaseyTheCoolCatt 5
Don't even. I have a dog now that once got my razor and started chewing on it. He also likes to sit in front of the wall and naw on it. I've had to fill a good five holes in my wall from this dog.
MissahMissy 25
I had a dog who ate a whole queen sized mattress o.O
jazzmancarron 11
Ever hear the phrase curiosity killed the cat? Just sayin.