Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, a woman who badly needed to change her incontinence pad sat next to me on the bus. I could smell it through my mask. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
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Top comments
SARSvirus79 0
Gross. Just, gross.
TrimKibbles 12
ewww i woulda slapped that bitch. that's just disgusting.
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Comments (131)
machiko_fml 0
Shove the scarf back into her face so then her face will be filled with nasty snot.
machiko_fml 0
-covered. my bad.
catatonicsleep 17
but in the shoving process OP could have got snot all over her hands too...
free2speak 14
and potentially caught flu as well. I hope OP had her flu shots this year!
5t3ff1k4h 45
Flu shots tend to make things worse... they're actually injecting you with the flu virus, dead as it may be, and you'll still get sick to some degree.
athena3100 9
Screw shots! when i wad younger i got my dhots and i was sick 4 months at a time. then in 2nd grade i stoped getting shots and i havnt gotten sick sense!!!
Geoffrx7 0
The worst part about this is you might have caught her fatness. Just to be sure you don't get fat, I would join a gym.
KiaMaster 0
if someone dropped there sick scarf full of snot on me, I'd pick it up and throw it at them, or I'd look at her until she looked at me abd tell her to pick it up. she probs did this because your skinny.
yazmi_09 3
yeah she was probably jealous
DocBastard 40
I was going to let your "there" go until I saw "your" also. their* you're* Goddammit.
Kua_Mei 0
KiaMaster also incorrectly says "them" rather than "her." Even if gender wasn't specified (which it was), them/they/their only refers to plural nouns and collective nouns(?). Don't even get me started on spelling and capitalization.
ridikulous 0
if its readable, the u grammar nazis need to stfu. I get it when ur correcting the poor, retarded ppl on here merging incomplete sentences with tons of slang and its unintelligable, but correcting "their" and "your" is totally gay. like seriouslaw guys, im seriouslaw.
ridikulous 0
then*
5t3ff1k4h 45
97 - I hope you understand how stupid those comments made you look.
eagle12 0
it would have been equally disgusting if the woman was of average weight...
hollee 0
nope
cheesecake19 0
u r stupid 2
SouthernRebfl 0
some words shoulda been said, not in a nice kinda way!
MzKylz 0
oh that is rank! FYL
BadasS14 0
rank?
PeaceAndSmile 0
Does the fact that she's obese have anything to do with this FML?
lizzybob666 6
i know right that was my point
weightnc 1
couldn't agree more!!!
DakotaCat 4
Today, I was at a bus and an obese woman sat on/sneezed/farted on/ate me. FML
Tempuser117 2
This amused me.
ClickMyPicture 0
That is messed... MAN THE HARPOONS! we got a big whale incoming!
MasterE56 4
that makes no sence.
KittenLionFace 6
Surely all you needed to do was loudly say "eeeeew" and throw it back at her? Then she'd be embarrassed, fat and ill :)