Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
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Top comments
Maxine17 8
I have a cactus, but it's pathetic.It hasn't grown EVER and it's spines don't hurt. I'm sure if it had been MY cactus, you would have been fine :)
iKaite 0
OUCHY. :)
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Comments (42)
iKaite 0
OUCHY. :)
rawrkittehpwnage 0
nice car
miamiFTW_ 0
lmfao. my dream car
mplsmech 0
You put a cactus on the same shelf as "expensive vases and collectables"? WTF I thought you said you were redecorating. Not makin stuff uglier. I'm sure Christie's Auction House will send you a card to mourn your extensive loss of fine art and collectables. YDI
danaisamazing 0
#2, you are so stupid. It isn't even her house, it was her friends. And I don't think you deserve getting hit with a cactus because of 'poor' decorating skills.
Maxine17 8
I have a cactus, but it's pathetic.It hasn't grown EVER and it's spines don't hurt. I'm sure if it had been MY cactus, you would have been fine :)
Chuck1993 0
hahaha! Epic xD
AcesAndEights 0
I used to have a cactus.. twas pretty cool. but its spines didnt hurt either
iKaite 0
Cactus wut? Like... coolant?
Intoxicunt 6
Lol at these comments. He was just pronouncing "cactus cola" in the Southern way. ;D
AdviceDog 0
SMASH VASES . ._ ,:' ./ __....._ / ./ / . ,-.._.' | / 6 . ___ .| 6 . . . . . . .4 .| . . . .. . . ./ ._ .. .---- ' .(_'---'`) ./ `'---`() COLLECT RUPEES
kittykat1501 31
What???
Person1233 13
Did the cactus have 200 poisonous spiders in it? That would have been awesome.
reachreach 1
I hate shpoiders
Crapsickle 0
at least you have good reflexes
slack3r9 0
good reflexes, terrible instincts, haha
Mx_Rider 6
haha number 13 did u get that from urban legends the cactus with all the crazy ass spiders lol go cactus cooler goooo :B
Oz_Alice 0
Haha, ouch? xD