asnolt
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sex Ed is broken
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Bristol, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Prissy
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
unknown
Courtenay, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
You what?
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Worried dad
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
sorry, kiddo
Brussels, Belgium 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
Noname
New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
Stop talking!
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
anonymous
Spring Valley, United States
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
kinky
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
younggrammy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Anon
How could you?
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Top comments
GiggidyPants 0
Jesus, I guess sex ed is important after all.
360XBOXFTW 0
wait... thats not normal?
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Comments (305)
lannap 4
BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Rebulera26 0
Ahahaha.... Moron.! that is incredible.... Should have told her to move out and take care of the baby... Just to see her reaction... Funny... I feel bad now, sorry
fairylights85 13
YDI for not providing your own child with proper sex education.
bambam42069 13
Her sex Ed teacher should be fired
MysticPizza 15
Sounds like the daughter is pregnant, and is sobbing because she was trying to put the blame on ************, but has gotten busted.
brijaygarcia94 3
Don't be an idiot, every kid needs Sex Ed. Be a better parent.
DanielleinDC 34
Does her school do the abstinence-only garbage?
peithecelt 28
damn shame no one gave her some basic understanding of how sex works before she was a teenager. must be hard for her not having parents mature enough to do the job.
Havinci 19
YDI. it's a parent's job to teach their child about these things
shannon2348 14
I'm not really sure how any kid can reach their teens and not know how pregnancy works. Is she homeschooled? No phone? no tv?