Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML
Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML
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Top comments
I_am_stupid_also 6
Tell him there is a rash that has been bothering you, but you need some cash to go get it checked out.
TouchDown_fml 0
Well now it's time to get her number or Fackbook page :-)
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Comments (177)
hockeygirrl18 0
ahhhhmmm shitty buzz. tell his 'fiance' she might hate you and for that matter she might not even believe you but if she doesnt at least you tried - itd be a good thing to know if theyre going to get married, cheatings so stupid I dont understand it, plus after two months of hanging out with you he never mentioned this girl ? woooookay .
audiogasmic 0
What a dick bag. Seriously. I hope you can contact his fiancee somehow to let her know. I mean, she might not believe you but it's worth a shot. Honestly I feel worse for the fiancee than you, the man she wants to marry is cheating on her. :(
lfati85 0
Wow...that guy sucks.
Inyourendo 0
Chop his dick off that'll teach the bastard
helios_rex 0
Get over yourself... you hooked up with a guy you've been wanting to hook up with anyways, right? BIG DEAL! Time to move on.
ozymandias_fml 0
Well, he does have a right to be concerned -- you *are* skanky enough to hook up with an engaged man. Who knows just how skanky you are?
sixtrey 0
i can't belive how manny people say you should always use a condom, i'd reather have no sex than bad sex with rubbers... and yes i'm clean
fermata 0
#109, the guy was clearly a scumbag enough to give her come-ons for 2 months while keeping his engagement status a secret. How does that make the OP a *****? And heck, in the adult dating world I think it's pretty much the norm to assume the guy you've been seeing for 2 months is single unless otherwise told. Plus, if this scumbag is cheating on his fiancee, he probably lied about his relationship status too. What an asshole--definitely tell his fiancee so she can get the hell outta there.
ozymandias_fml 0
@#111 Sleeping with someone you don;t know basic facts about is about as skanky as you can get. If she did not know he was engaged, she has not met his friends, family, etc -- as being introduced as his girlfriend to them ought to have caused reactions... Or are you saying she was sleeping with someone she was *not* dating? That's even worse!
whattayacare 0
I hope you gave him something to pass on...what an ass he is!