Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for two months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed, he says, "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML
Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML
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Top comments
I_am_stupid_also 6
Tell him there is a rash that has been bothering you, but you need some cash to go get it checked out.
TouchDown_fml 0
Well now it's time to get her number or Fackbook page :-)
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Comments (177)
duddenchu 0
No glove, No LOVE!!
Ne2486 0
:-O
Bees_fml 0
I sure hope you meant fiancée! (Fiancé is male.)
wigwam 0
Gasp! You had sex?! Obviously you should be stoned in the street. I mean, you only waited two months. Clearly you should have waited, oh, fifty or sixty years. And died a virgin.
becky_becks 0
Please tell me you were a smartass and said you had the clap.
Nick7303 0
You would think if you've been hanging out with a guy for 2 months that the fiance issue would have came up..
Devin_Duke 0
Lmao what an idiot, he should've asked her if she was clean BEFORE they had sex. Not after
Luckster 0
#77 - Oi! Watch it!
zectni 0
ahahahhah owneeddddd
widdowmaker 0
I would have said, "Well I've had these pains down there and a nasty rash, with sores. But im sure its nothing to worry about."