Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML
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Top comments
taoxyeuxmay 4
Karma is sweet!
redbluegreen 41
Gosh, why can't you just 'get over it' yourself? I hate people who say shit like that.
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Comments (321)
littlebrittle77 0
your bf probably put it there
Virtuoso 0
Deserved it, hopefully it was your boyfriend that put it there, now stop being such a whiney bitch.
deliapearl 0
shouldn't u see a doctor?
Tubasaurus 0
That's hilarious. YDI
iiTEMP524 0
Does no one think her guy planted that scorpion there? Or is that just a sweet coincidence
monkeyspark 6
It's really the irony that stings the most...
BussellRishop 0
To be fair, scorpions are delicious.
cactus_fml 0
Stop whinining and get over it.
cabernet 0
Agreed. YDI, Bitch.
Ozmat 0
Nice, I hope you die. YDI he didn't cry:)
gothymama 0
Wow that's a bit much. Yes she was a bitch, but she doesn't deserve to die!
arielzbkny 0
Wtf? R u ok? Yea she was bein an asshole but cmon u hope she dies? Wow ur a bitch
24788 7
Haha, scorpion heard you dissing his work on your husband. He wanted to prove he could take you out.
FPsLife 5
Wouldn't have happened if you were in the kitchen. *Activates flame shield*