Today, while I was casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML
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Top comments
misfitSuperStar 0
OMG!!!! Gross!! 'You sure do got a purdy mouth, boy.'
lolwtfwasthat 0
it's gonna be ok I promise!
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Comments (85)
blackberry8462 0
you think..? lol
flyboy5 0
got to love great lakes lol
kathira120 3
that's not your fault :( you can't help some creeper going after you in a bar!
bcare22 0
okay, this one goes out to everyone bitchin bout the marines and the navy and whos better. we do different jobs you dumbasses . lets see your typical sailor do some grunt work. not gonna go well. put a marine in some semens boots and hes not gonna do very well either.so shut the hell up
highabovethebest 1
I'm guessing it wasn't on "Man Love Thursday" cuz everyone in the service knows that there's no balls barred on Thursdays.
thvoicwitout 0
being in the navy...and being a little girl go hand in hand...be a real man...join the Marine Corp or at least the Army
tink5493 2
ok look all you navy fags that are getting pissed have you ever seen you dress clothes that's why you are called fags I come from a family of marines I still have the utmost respect for all military but it was your choice to join a branch that is not known for it's machoness unless your a seal or core-men you need to get over it and take it like men and not little 12 year old girls
Dirsh 0
That's horrible and i can picture that whole bar scene and i'm lmao right now haha.
Dirsh 0
Goo 85! haha. this whole argument is stupid tho.
XDJxEKOX 0
Wouldn't have that problem if you were a Marine ^_^