Today, while I was casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML
Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML
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Top comments
misfitSuperStar 0
OMG!!!! Gross!! 'You sure do got a purdy mouth, boy.'
lolwtfwasthat 0
it's gonna be ok I promise!
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Comments (85)
Jimboom 12
Don't ask, don't tell. ;-)
stephiefromfranc 0
LOL
a_b_b_s 1
he might 'beat' you for that!
dubstep87 0
marines are better oorah!
nebula748 14
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment, SIR! that's marines for ya
CO_Dorvanski 5
So a Navy sailor in Illinois? Hmmm
mrskristindavis 0
The navy has a base in Illinois, that's where most basic training is located from what I hear.
WannabeJew 0
The Navy training base is located north of Chicago; it's called Great Lakes. There's also a tech school there. I remember the 8 hour drive to go see my sister graduate BMT. She's now a sailor on the USS George Washington, but that's irrelevant :) I just love my sister and am proud of her for having the balls to do something I'm not sure I could do. Anyway, all the military branches have something that is their job: air, land, sea, and kicking ass. Air Force, Army, Navy/Coast Guard, and Marines respectively. Without the different branches, we wouldn't be as strong as we are, because otherwise one branch would simply have too much to do. I, personally, love the Air Force and have considered enlisting. My sister loves the Navy. It's about which branch offers the most to you.
joeinthedark 18
Personally, I think this is totally understandable. No matter how tough I was, I would scream like a little girl if some drunken biker (read big bad ass dude) tried to kiss me. But that might just be me as, drunken, toothless bikers aren't really my type.
saulomarti 0
In the navy Yes, you can sail the seven seas In the navy Yes, you can put your mind at ease In the navy Come on now, people, make a stand In the navy, in the navy Can't you see we need a hand In the navy Come on, protect the motherland In the navy Come on and join your fellow man In the navy Come on people, and make a stand In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)
super_sm 0
yo you're smoking balls yo w.e don't ask don't tell :P
__misc 0
maybe the drunk biker was a girl..?
TOL_fml 6
It's kinda cute op :) but wicked freaky that he wanted to kiss some random dude cuz he's drunk :/