Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FranklySpeaking 11
Call him back and resume the sexy talk. Since he missed out on some of it, you can do it even better this time.
Capitan 15
At least you got some good practice in.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Don't worry OP, take that as a rehearsal for next time ^^. Once you pass over the first moment of embarassment, it's pretty hilarious :)
piggybits 14
The call dropped for 5 minutes and you never got the busy tone?
mooman36 15
You don't get a tone when on a mobile. I assume she was.
piggybits 14
Fair enough
RedPillSucks 33
Makes one yearn for the simpler times when phones had error tones.
Duh_0811 17
As it sounds to me, he's a lucky man to have such a good wife.
Sirmrcrowley 12
What kind of dirty talk made him hang up?? Dishes? House? Clothes??
Wizardo 34
Well you have some practice with it now, next time you'll blow his mind even harder with it, if you catch my drift...
Soundslikeothers 15
5 minutes? That's a long time to not notice someone is not on the other line. Even if you are the one talking you want some sort of indication that the other person is enjoying or even listening.
bandnerd21 13
That sucks
11shareef 4
Not really that embarrassing. No one knew until you told everyone, lol. Your husband may wonder why you took so long to call back, but that's easy to get around if the call dropped.
nelson_92 12
Wasted effort :/
Demoniq 25
As a total failure myself in most things of this nature, I can understand why it was embarrassing to you OP... at least you can try :)