Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML
Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I had dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house, the second one that he was no longer single, and the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "Nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
Today, I finished hauling all of my possessions from another state, because I was supposed to move in with my girlfriend. I was just waiting to find a job. Almost as soon as my stuff was delivered, she broke up with me and told me to figure out getting it all back by myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GodsLittleMistak 8
Troll cashier be trolling
TheWindowLicker 13
You, sir, can go **** yourself. Signed, people who have hearts.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
nila04 3
aaa
Jorcar 8
YDI for thinking a book will help you, but the fliers wouldn't help the situation much.
SkoomaKi 28
Well apparently Americans have a fetish with dogs and peanut butter...
titzenpitzer 9
you are one happy possum, aren't you
blackvyper 8
Suck it the **** up and move on.
perdix 31
Great tip! You can go to the retreat and find an unhappy married guy to bang. Maybe even several! The best way to get over an ex-boyfriend is with a new one, even if you have to borrow one from a hag.
perdix 31
I guess. Is Lorry a frumpy old hausfrau who likes anal?
weetjewat 14
Or she could go out and try to find a single guy for her rebound... Otherwise it's possible she'll create a chain reaction of husbands cheating on their wifes, who then go on to have sex with another unhappily married guy, etc. etc.
perdix 31
#62, She's damaged goods and not ready to be with a single guy. Unless she wants to go celibate and work on herself, she's better off banging unhappy married guys for a while.
br0ccoli 15
I don't like cheating. It hurts someone. With swinging, at least people are in agreement. It's a win-win.
trina101 0
Aww, just keep your head up and stay strong:)
anarchistpunk 3
Hey dude, that sucks i know, but whatever happened between you two I'm sure it happened for a reason. And maybe if it's meant to be you two will get back together, but if not, then you know he wasn't the one right? I'm sure you'r beautiful and you'll find someone else dude. Much sympathy
lululu333 7
*first page of the book* "first step: ignore everything that reminds you of your recent breakup to move on." *second page of the book* "second step: close this book since it reminds you of your recent break up." THE END
kylesgirlforever 12
Time is the only thing that will make things better. You are strong and everything will be fine:) I just had a break up with a bf and we had a log relationship too. We were even engaged and things got better for me so they will get better for you:)