Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
sheerem 7
She probably just had diarrhea and didn't want to crap her pants in front of you. Don't take it too seriously.
zachlibby 4
Nothing more romantic than a fart.
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Comments (188)
MagicStallion 9
Ahahaha i love how the last one was probably by a woman and got thumbed down.... Step four in not falling apart : don't listen to your woman? Just a suggestion :0
aribari373 5
She had to booboo!
Miss1337 1
I have stomach conditions and yeah, sometimes things like that strike at the worst possible time. Not much you can do, and while it 'may' have felt like an insult, it probably wasn't. I'll assume she explained things after using the restroom. :/.
khaya 9
She was so touched she sharted.
saturnsonic 3
There's Nothing like a woman that farts ;)
xXcaraXx 2
you gotta go when you gotta go :/
taliayungdiva 9
You gotta go when you gotta go
ChubbyNicki 6
When yo gotta go, you gotta go.
worldclassrager 41
well you can rehearse a bit not that its needed...at least she appreciated it...
someguy314159265 15
Well, it's a lot better than having her hate you, cheat on you, or strictly forbid you from hanging out with your female friends.