Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed after having sex. I commented on him still having an erection after having an orgasm. He said it happens whenever he has a strong orgasm. Then he added, "And surprisingly, I was even thinking about you when it happened." FML
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Top comments
lphchld 0
The man spoke the truth.
mastory96 0
haha watch he'll probably get a boner from the slight vibration.
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Comments (61)
cuppycake4494 0
haha!!! awesome
hayweebabe 0
You deserve it **** head ;o
ADL8 0
hey babe wats up
ack62 2
wow you must have a big heart... or a really small torso...
futureflow 0
lol i would say the same thing
MiniatureMayhem 0
At least he's honest.
graveworm 0
how is that a fml? stop being so whiney!
1234five 0
not a fml.. this one sucks
justmyluck1212 0
is that even possible?
Sophia93 0
lol I know right. I can't picture it.. you sitting on his lap and he could feel your heartbeat on his dick? Can someone please explain it to me.
asnider 0
He probably meant her pulse, which you can feel in a lot of spots: the neck, the wrist, the groin... So, yeah, if she was sitting on his lap, he may have felt her pulse in his dick.
popoman 0
He was ******* her ****.
akallaan 7
Or he was feeling his own pulse...
movies12 0
How's that FML? What cause he didn't kiss you? or is it because he said he felt your heart beat on his dick? Not an FML.
Redrosesandrain 0
not an fml, but amusing. awkward moment...