Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it, hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 minutes and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say, "Oh, cool." FML
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
Poop usually comes FROM the asshole.
munkee_6669 0
looks like you're -takes off shades- dealing with a shitty situation. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
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Comments (139)
RebelHeart7 0
that guygirl must be really desperate with your behavior toward him/her to do such a gross thing. U probably deserve it, think about it and try to be a good person.
vballchick101 0
Eww..
PaedoInASpeedo 0
You have something on your chest, by the way.
oliver86 8
someone has the ***** with you
deilajt 5
Aw, shit.
ComMed1 0
^ shhhhh he thinks he's a big deal. we can't ruin that for him
iheartglasses 0
Thats what you get for not keeping your wallet on your body at all times... But thats also pretty extreme for that person to have done that..
lilykat84 4
WTF?
iSpasticFantasti 14
I'm pretty curious as to what you did to deserve that. :/ Either you're in the wrong or they're full of shit. Ba-dum-dum!
jkjorn 18
correction: they *were* full of shit.. now the envelope is!
iSpasticFantasti 14
#75 Ba-dum-dum x 2.
LMeltdown 4
Hope you called the police or hired an investigator. That's a sign of a sick person. If you did something to tick them off, they should be able to confront you face-to-face and attack the situation. That is just a form of disgusting mental rape.