Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it, hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 minutes and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say, "Oh, cool." FML
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Quest_ 13
Poop usually comes FROM the asshole.
munkee_6669 0
looks like you're -takes off shades- dealing with a shitty situation. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
marinus_fml 20
At least they didn't take credit cards and license etc. That would have been a pain in the asshole.
mz_s15 0
It's still not safe to keep them open - even tho OP has his wallet back he should still cancel all his cards etc :-) But seriously, WTF...? asshole or not, this is just plain sick!
lemonypower 6
imagine being the mailman delivering this "package"
kittydidit 0
Sick, but wicked! lol
Jimboom 12
Well you must have really pissed someone off to get that. But at least you got your wallet back even though the situation stinks *badum tish*
maphineRAWRS 10
yeah at least they didn't take all the important stuff right? that wouldve been a bitch to replace.. but yeah that's kinda gross haha
Fall3nAngel 23
#12 *SNAP*!! Win. ahh, high five..
mrjmaster1234 0
someone really doesnt like u
TheShay 0
obvious troll is obvious
bubbles1286 1
I don't believe someone would just randomly return the wallet in this condition. There has to be more to this story we're not being told...
sinnedrebel 0
ummm your an asshole
wDeemish 0
You're** your dp is as bad as your typing yal s5eef, and nobody gives a damn _))_
6sick6 4
How do you know Arabic if you're from Dublin? hadi 9oortik?
totono 0
You probably did a really mean thing to that old man. I mean, when someone poops next to you, the worse thing you can do is ignore them. The old man was probably pissed and did this to you.
xStiina 0
Someone dislikes you...
Rangant 7
lucky u didnt set off any alarms
6sick6 4
Win.