Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it, hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 minutes and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say, "Oh, cool." FML
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
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Top comments
Quest_ 13
Poop usually comes FROM the asshole.
munkee_6669 0
looks like you're -takes off shades- dealing with a shitty situation. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
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Comments (139)
cactuspancake 0
I thought it was funny! these shit jokes are makin me giggle
apv12 0
u know u can sue rite
iPunchedBigFoot 5
What's in your wallet
smaginn 0
As in, real poop? God that person who did that is really really creepy. 0.0
SuperPotato 7
what kind of mailman would wanna deliver this so called mail
hurrican_fml 0
I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on :)
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
wow you must be a HUGE asshole for someone who is that much of an asshole to think your an asshole
thdiian 6
Shouldn't it be " from the asshole"?
meouch 6
At least the poop is where it belongs. But yeah, that sucks
Kaoticwolf 17
posted on my bday