Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
WHY would you do that anyway? Wouldn't it be a little suspicious for her dad to come home and then you immediately knock on the door afterward? YDI
dayrin7 4
" hey i was loooking for that!" lmfaooo
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Comments (93)
JRSpaniel 0
Smooth. Reeeeal smooth.
Julietiloveyou 0
"Oh that's where I left it? Have you seen my condum pack? I wanna f*ck your daughter soon." Nice try, but remember she might be daddys little girl. So run like hell. Good for you getting heated with her. ;)
skalman_sthlm 0
YDI for writing dad with a capital letter all the time.
zpicci 0
you deserve it for wearing shoes
Rydizzle 0
aaahhhagagagajajajahahahaha this is sooo damn funny!
MuffinMan18 0
the fact that he answered the door with shoes means he knows already, so youre screwed, at that point just tell him it could be worse, it could be your pants hes holding ;D
Intellectualist 0
Dad is a name for somebody, so it should be capitalised. Morons.
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
You spelled "capitalized" wrong, Ms. Elitist. Ah, a grammar nazi who cant spell.
mishel 0
capitalise is the UK spelling.
moonlight_daze 8
The translation is "**** your life up the ass".
animelovr1017 3
Oh so close!
RagsTG 0
Damn that sucks dude