Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for four years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I got home to my grandma yelling at the top of her lungs that I didn't do everything I was supposed to when I was home. I literally washed dishes, cleaned counters, vacuumed, gathered trash, AND cleaned the bathroom. I didn't fold my blankets. That's it. That's what she was yelling about. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
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Top comments
thelindseyyy 4
...gotta love the holidays, where you're forced to deal with crazy-ass relatives.
akallaan 7
You just can't win...
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Comments (86)
2013bchan41 20
All the holidays the perfect time to spend with your crazy relatives
BlueMoonCafe 12
When she has a real heart attack you can fake calling the ambulance.
RaveBlade 4
So you propose she lets her grandma die? Wow you're a genius, here's a medal.
BlueMoonCafe 12
Wow, that was really rude and unnecessary. It's called sarcasm for a reason.
Tali147 16
RaveBlade - Sir, I propose we let YOU die. And we shall bury you with your precious medal.
MrSassypants 34
So you're going to let RaveBlade die? Wow, you're a genius, here's a medal.
JAMSM 6
Watch out, i'm a grave robber, imma take all yall's medals
anthony99 14
Your grandmother is a sociopath
RaveBlade 4
Well... Do like my brother : excuse yourself to the bathroom right after dinner and come out right when everything is done.
babybebop2 4
This reminds me of Jack's mother on 30 rock
harrypotter955 19
1-800- choke dat hoe
HouseElf 13
Dobby is used to threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home.
seandoc 13
Merry Christmas!
GothickNihilist 15
I see that you grandmum likes to take things to the extreme. Maybe you can explain things to your parents. Though it's pretty hard to believe anyone would fake a heart attack, a doctor will clear that right up. Happy holidays everyone.
chriisteex 10
Ohhhh my grandmother has faked so much shit to get me to do something her way
ICastillo 25
Man you don't mess with grandma she is one step ahead of you. With all years of experience she will always win in the end.
PenguinBitch 44
Just face it, grandma doesn't love you.