Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for four years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I got home to my grandma yelling at the top of her lungs that I didn't do everything I was supposed to when I was home. I literally washed dishes, cleaned counters, vacuumed, gathered trash, AND cleaned the bathroom. I didn't fold my blankets. That's it. That's what she was yelling about. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
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Top comments
thelindseyyy 4
...gotta love the holidays, where you're forced to deal with crazy-ass relatives.
akallaan 7
You just can't win...
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Comments (86)
Pyro_Wolf 17
Great grandma you have..
destroyu 8
Someday it will get her back lol
Meow_Bitches 7
Grandma level: Like a boss! O_O So thankful that my grandmother is not like that!
Visionax2 1
Do you also have a brother who fake cries to get you in trouble? Man, you just can't win, can you?
winkydog4056 16
Wow, TWO super sensitive cockbites in one day. Auntie Bertha, the re-gift recipient, Granny Broomhilda's giving you a run for your money.
viagradoesntwork 7
That's kinda a no win situation u got there
kurodansei 16
You lose some, you lose some.
HeartOfLead 24
Jokes on her because she'll be paying the bill they give for calling the ambulance for nothing. If not that than try a more personal form of retaliation.
zenrael 21
Avoid that one at all costs... -.-
Crosswinds 8
I say give a real heart attack and be done with the bitch.