Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML
Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
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Top comments
floup_fml 13
desperate times, desperate measures!
ARandomDickhead 8
Did it work??
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Comments (55)
floup_fml 13
desperate times, desperate measures!
ismedrage 17
Well you're a **** then
lexiieeex3 32
If I were by myself maybe but with another person in the car? Definitely not.
MidnaLink 35
Too bad you getting out of the car and walking away wasn't an option.
RedPillSucks 33
so now she gets a ticket for speeding and a ticket for indecent exposure.
ARandomDickhead 8
Did it work??
pleasedie 22
Her mom getting her way ? Doubt it Her mom succeeding in making the police officer throw up ? Maybe Her mom embarrassing the hell out of her daughter ? Definitely
rileyrae0000 23
That's just nasty. Sometimes people should just accept their ticket if they deserve and not lose their dignity in front of their own children
pleasedie 22
Sadly, most people don't have any dignity these days.
Elban 20
Dignity is expensive
UserError94 18
Truuu I buy people's dignity all the time and it ain't cheap...usually with $1's... I'm talking about tipping waiters you sickos
Seabass_Chan 33
More expensive than a parking ticket, since OP's mother clearly pawned hers a long time ago.
False_Stupidity 42
Dignity is more optional than the speed limits.
jackipdoc 31
That's so awful I'm so sorry for you OP
butmostdont 8
One time my mother tried to convince a police officer that she wasn't wearing her seat belt because she had such large breasts they were irritated by the friction. I feel your pain.
hannah_dl 11
Time to call the Men in Black....
UhHuhHoney 20
No, time to call dad.
Soparot 29
I'm still trying to figure out why this got downvoted. I'm guessing from people who don't know / don't remember that the MIB have a neuralyzer that wipes your mind.
moonjerky 9
Oh you poor soul
ThatOneFMLer 7
WTF?!