Today, I spent time with some of my extended family. To give you an idea of their pedigree, I overheard a daughter ask her mom, "Why did you name me Chanté?" The mom, "After the wine!" The daughter asked, "What wine?" and her mom replied, "You know, Chianti!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, as usual, my mother had wine when she has the next day off. Three bottles deep, she started talking about an Indian burial ground that haunts the house, and she knows this because they talk to her in her dreams, so she is right. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
That's what I think every time I meet someone named "Brandy".
RichardPencil 32
Is it because it's Mom's favorite wine, or Hannibal Lecter's? I guess her sister, Fava, could ask the same question.
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Comments (4)
Anderling 33
To be fair to the mom I for one would rather be named Chanté rather than Chianti too
RichardPencil 32
Is it because it's Mom's favorite wine, or Hannibal Lecter's? I guess her sister, Fava, could ask the same question.
BurnInDemonFire 39
That "pedigree" sounds like they hail from an Alabama trailer park and used the only fancy word they knew to name their kid.
Brightside86 31
That's what I think every time I meet someone named "Brandy".
RichardPencil 32
Ha! I think of that song. "Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a worthwhile human being..."