Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, I took a date to a new restaurant I’d never been to before. Wish I had been because it turns out two of my ex-girlfriends work there as waitresses. Luckily they were amicable break-ups, but it was still hella awkward every time they brought stuff to the table. FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TomeDr 25
Sounds like a horrible place to go! I wouldn’t have flashbacks but I would be acutely uncomfortable and probably not be able to eat.
Chazzster 32
OP, make this a learning experience - Until you know the person well enough to know what they are comfortable with, avoid places that are likely to make a normal person uncomfortable…. It amazes me that OP thought a restaurant where the proprietors regularly scream at each other was a good place for a first date!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
TomeDr 25
Sounds like a horrible place to go! I wouldn’t have flashbacks but I would be acutely uncomfortable and probably not be able to eat.
RichardPencil 32
When you're here, you're family.
Chazzster 32
OP, make this a learning experience - Until you know the person well enough to know what they are comfortable with, avoid places that are likely to make a normal person uncomfortable…. It amazes me that OP thought a restaurant where the proprietors regularly scream at each other was a good place for a first date!
OptimalPath 13
What can be "fun" in a quarrel?.. I probably would hate it. You might as well eat at home; if you go to some place, you usually enjoy special environment, calm and relax, good service and the food you can't have at home... Enjoying screams doesn't count.