Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML
Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
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Top comments
TheGewt 7
He will change his mind when you break his hand going into labor.
batwomen_fml 7
He's not the one pushing a baby out of his vag. Tell him it's your choice. And, sometimes doctors really want people to get them, so that they don't pass out from pain.
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Comments (151)
aadvepild 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i have 3 kids and had horrible pain all through my pregnacy and still didnt take any drugs not even advil so dont be so weak!!
elletex 8
Oh, lovely. Another "super mom" on her pedestal.
woodenbo89x 4
It has nothing to do with being weak. She just found out she's pregnant and he's already deciding what she can and can't do in her labor. Men do NOT know what labor feels like, so as a man, he shouldn't be allowed to TELL her that she can't get an epidural. Can he suggest that she doesn't get an epidural? Absolutely, but flat out telling her no is just ridiculous. You're no better than her husband by judging people who have had an epidural.
MelissaMarie89 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Amen honestly I don't know why women feel the need to want drugs of any kind during birth hello ladies were strong and don't NEED them there were no drugs 100 years ago!! And why would you want to "damper" your experience giving birth to your child by having drugs only way to go is at home birth with your mid wife unless your a high risk in which case you should be delivering at the hospital but I mean hey to each their own right =)
MelissaMarie89 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She should be proud!!! It's the natural thing to give birth with no drugs!!! Good for her that she did it!!!!
DocBastard 40
There's nothing natural about childbirth without pain medicine. Your point about it not being around 100 years ago is ridiculous - we didn't have antibiotics 100 years ago either. Or sterility. Or gloves. Are you REALLY advocating going back to that? Didn't think so. If you want to give birth without drugs, that's just dandy for you. But don't try to convince other women they they don't need it. Otherwise you're no better than OP's husband.
ghostlilac 25
29 - "hey to each their own" Really? It's kind of hypocritical to say that after a long-ass rant about how giving birth is nothing less than magical and anyone who uses pain meds is a weak pansy.
Michele2luv 8
I have a kid and I almost died. I am damn happy I got that epidural tho so you can get off your soapbox thanks
angelofsaturn 23
#15 wow do you want a cookie?
happle 21
Childbirth is a beautiful, wonderful thing, but it's still probably the most painful thing ever. I may be strong, but I personally don't want a ton of pain that I don't need.
missathegirlwond 19
100 years ago, they used ether to completely knock the woman out so that they didn't feel a thing, and woke up after the birth. So your argument is invalid.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Excuse me, not everyone vag is so loose that they can just spit a baby out and it be joyous and magical and painless.
22cute 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I agree with #29. I had 2 homebirths with midwives and no drugs. AND no screaming or pain. There are great alternatives! And epidurals do drug the baby & interfere with bonding. Still, while OPs husband may have an opinion, it's NOT his choice. Him "forbidding" anything is unfair and likely to push her away and cause resentment. He'd do better to respect her choice & research epidurals and alternatives together.
zombiibabii 4
Pregnancy and childbirth is different for every woman, and you definitely aren't a better person for doing it drug free. Take your self righteous shit elsewhere; no one is impressed.
MzEvryday90 0
A. Our bodies can only stand a certain amount of pain & during childbirth we experience 1,000 x's more pain than our body can stand (so excuse some of us for using a little extra to dull the pain). B. Not everyone agrees with midwives & no pain mess & visa versa. So how dare anybody look down on another for their choice in medical preference. C. 100 years ago more women & children died during childbirth than they do now. You're point is mute.
ohmandapants 17
112- really? Your labour was painless? So the you couldn't possibly understand why someone would want an epidural, right? Because your birthing experiences were so magical and pain-free. Home birthing was right for YOU. Personally, all I want is to get the baby out and start enjoying motherhood. I don't need a bunch of pain to make my delivery "magical". If I could even just get a C-section that would be great. Unfortunately, we're not allowed to do that in Quebec...
sulitak 27
but the child won't be born "ADDICTED"
jwebster 8
Have him speak with an anesthesiologist and an OB so he can hear from doctors why it is beneficial to get them.
reason00 3
There's way more against them.
angelofsaturn 23
When the contractions hit grab his balls and squeeze. Assuming that you aren't past the point where they can't give you an epidural he'll change his mind.
klovemachine 24
Kick him in the junk. See how he likes that :D
amyrk 1
Okay, and he also doesnt know what giving birth feels like. Tell him to shove it.
samothraki 7
Your body, your rules.
DocBastard 40
Your asshole seems very constricted right now. No, I'm talking about your husband. He has no right to forbid you from anything. He's not the one squeezing a watermelon through a 10-cm pipe, now is he? Tell him to shut the **** up and be supportive. That's his only job during your delivery, not flapping his gums.
SkyBirdy 5
Ahah planting the seed ahah
jennifernorvell 7
This is a conversation u shoulda had before the I do's
GothicAngel17 24
BANG!
Devin91 20
Congrats, and that doesn't happen but the baby's heart rate might drop so try to go natural !
cheetahbaby96 8
Yeah, no thanks. Tell him to try pushing a melon out his asshole then ask his opinion!