Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Today, I phoned up my best friend to talk about the days events. As soon as he picked up he farted in the earpiece and left me hanging while I heard him excrete in the background. FML.
HanaxD 0
Ew.
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Comments (89)
WhatDidYouSay0 0
that sucks well....shit lol
sks4613 1
geez and now your posting with your phone. you make me feel dirty just reading this. for real chop of yours hands and buy a new phone.
mkylem 0
BEAT THE **** OUT OF HIM!
trumpetGIRL12345 0
you should've given him plums or something so he went right away ROFLMAO
trumpetGIRL12345 0
if you had beat the shit out of him it wouldn't be all over ur phone
bookbee 2
Well done, young man! Well done, indeed.
hassenpfeffermmm 0
I wouldn't be standing at the toilet 20 minutes.
dregray 1
Motivation!!!
Baytheshark 14
He was waiting for the right moment.
Slikpirate 0
Holy shit! That Sucks