Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I matched with someone on a dating app. The first thing they said to me was, "What is the chance that you are the trombone player living below me and would you please stop playing after 9 p.m.?" I am that trombone player and due to Covid I have to practice a lot in my apartment. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML
Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that said, "Are you free tonight?" Thinking it was a friend messing around, I responded with, "Only if you're buying booze and dinner." The reply a few minutes later was, "This is Dr. Peters, your dentist. You missed your appointment today. You need to reschedule." FML
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
Today, I finally figured out that when a man says, "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means, "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML
Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML
Today, my neighbor's kid started learning the violin. FML
Today, my manager "bumped" into me 3 or 4 separate times. I told him months ago I didn't want to date him. He even asked me once if I was ever afraid of being kidnapped. FML
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Top comments
Nomazlab 0
Hey, that doesn't necessarily mean your playing was bad. He might have just found it loud and it was waking up his baby or something.
looserdevars 1
I'm a string player myself, go to your local music store and ask for a practice mute.
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Comments (167)
dinosauring 0
this is why I don't practice
booGiesillEn 0
maybe yer music skills might have scared him off.
LakerFanForLife 0
you should of asked him what his schedule was then played as crappy as u could lol
artssfreak 0
ydi for sucking.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I've got yer well-rounded mons right here, mercy! *grunt*
underpaid011 0
tell the ass to go to hell, then buy a set of bagpipes.
aleary911 0
ydi. for spelling practicing wrong
JokeMeister 0
Two words. I DON'T!!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
:D Saucy is fun, especially for redheads!
Phoenix_fml 13
maybe you should practice your spelling