Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's compensation. The kind involving desperately scrubbing my office chair with paper towels, before going home to change my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, as I walked with a coworker to my office through a gas station, I slid on some oil and fell right on my ass. He helped by holding my lunch. My jeans are ruined and I'm too broke to buy a new pair. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
trellz17 19
That's one of my worst fears, I hope not too many people noticed.
mld4657 28
well shit.. oh you already did..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (38)
HrothgarXII 21
Ooooh no And eeeeew no
madgodvw 7
Heh, u peed urself
trellz17 19
He wishes he did.
Kieranr10 23
Look on the bright side, at least your not injured.
v4valour 15
Tell his confidence that
freyday 18
Oh my gosh, that's so shitty
v4valour 15
Are you a musician? Because it seems you hit the brown note
mld4657 28
well shit.. oh you already did..
Swandive235 27
Stop the puns everyone, and that must've sucked big time. I hope you didn't make a huge deal out of it, and few people noticed.
hacksaw246 24
You just had to go there didn't you?
trellz17 19
That's one of my worst fears, I hope not too many people noticed.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
What have you done! These puns have been forbidden by the prophets, you have surely doomed us all!