Today, I recently started taking some antidepressants and they have been working really well for me, except for the fact that they have made me crap my pants twice now. Both times in public. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML
Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML
Today, and for the last six months, I've been on a medication that greatly improves the main symptoms of my chronic illness. Too bad it also gives me chronic diarrhea. I feel much better and can function better than I have since my teens, but I haven't taken a solid dump in half a year. FML
Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML
Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML
Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
sirrubberduckie 37
That's a really... you know... like, when there are circumstances that are very bad... like some sort of a... Mr. Pencil? Can you help out here?
RichardPencil 32
Well, I'd advise that you refer to the circumstances as a "situation." Then, choose an adjective related to what's going on in the OP's pants. Carefully place a "...wait on it..." to ensure the reader experiences your wit with perfect comedic timing. And there, you have the perfect comment. You're welcome.
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Comments (6)
Kent Griffin 3
check with your Dr.
sirrubberduckie 37
That's a really... you know... like, when there are circumstances that are very bad... like some sort of a... Mr. Pencil? Can you help out here?
Marcella1016 32
No idea where he’s been lately. Needs to...get the lead out.
RichardPencil 32
Well, I'd advise that you refer to the circumstances as a "situation." Then, choose an adjective related to what's going on in the OP's pants. Carefully place a "...wait on it..." to ensure the reader experiences your wit with perfect comedic timing. And there, you have the perfect comment. You're welcome.
samomaha 17
Don't forget that combinging words where possible can be useful, as well, as in, "shituation".
Marcella1016 32
Great advice! Lemme try! It sounds like a situation that is soiled...wait on it... Did I do it right?!
RichardPencil 32
That's a good attempt. I think you can improve on it. Try building the tension before using the operative word of the punchline.
anomynous 11
I love how people that frequent the comments just wait for Mr. Pencil 😂
RichardPencil 32
I'm guessing the pants-crapping is pro-depressant. They kinda cancel each other out.
Grizz8831 14
honestly try cannabis if you can get it legally. talk to a doctor and figure out what strains and dosage could help... I only know 1 person to crap themselves after smoking weed, and to be fair... it most likely would have happened anyways.
Gamer_299 4
it all depends dude, ive used weed and sometimes i ended up getting more depressed
Tom Irvine 6
my attempt had me throwing up consistently 4 to 5 times a day. I quit using them in like 4 days. called my doctor told them what happened and yeah no more mess for me
girarddc 12
Contact your doctor so they can adjust your medication.