Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Matty1188 6
Maybe you should be responsible and carry a bag or two with you when you walk your dog.
Timbits93 1
must have been a crappy situation
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (255)
BABTcakes 0
fyl indeed.. if that guy laughed at me.. I would have thrown that shit at his face!! it's not your fault that your dog crapped on his lawn.. dogs go wherever they please.. but you do have to take responsibility & clean it up.. pretty sure you've had your dog for a while.. you should have had some bags with you.. & the guy should have offered one! that ******* jerk!!
sourgirl101 29
Why would the guy offer a bag? He probably thought the dog owner ALREADY had one on them, since they are...... walking their dog. And who would expect someone to pick it up with their bare hands? I'm sure it happened quickly and the guy was laughing because who'd expect that?
Charm651 0
I would've ran... but I like your option much better XD
elephants17 7
wow u guys talk about going off on one. OP probably panicked about picking it up. and btw it never sed on the story that she didn't have plastic bag.
jdeshnerx3 0
if she did I'm sure she wouldn't have used her bare hands...
elephants17 7
if she panicked and was freaked out by the guy she might of.
pogostick_fml 2
#54 Didn't you say something about not assuming? Take your own advice. Your assumption that she had a plastic bag that she probably forgot about is pulled out of your ass.
serenity40 6
op.....your an idiot!!!!
wordoron 1
your ugly.... just sayin
plebeianFelix 5
beta
thekrammer 5
lol
Jasonf6 0
Seeing as you didn't bring a baggy to pick it up you obviously intended to let your dog just shit on someone's lawn. you deserved it.
mimination_fml 3
YDI. If there wasn't any witnesses you would have left it there? Next time you'll probably bring a plastic bag, it's disrespectful to leave your dog's shit on someone else's property, or anywhere that isn't the trash for that matter. That could have started a war between you two, I know I'd hate my neighbour forever if they did that and wait for the right moment to get a revenge.
rawrchikarawr 0
Ewww :/
kl_beans 0
bare hands. really?!