Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my 4 year-old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FlyingLeumer 19
Looks like the yokes on you
BatmanPotato 13
I think the sprinkler idea was great, but kids always have other tactics. Try calling the cops to scare them.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
chat_noir_fml 5
Lieutenant Gordon's worst fear: escalation.
Axipiter 24
*sigh* I've said it once, I'll say it again. Bear traps.
GAOStarr 15
Point a camera out the window. When they egg your house again, show the video to their parents and ask for the kids to stop, or the parents to repaint your house.
a4s 8
Grow a pair n kick ass
castleofg1ass 19
Set up security cameras to catch them in the act, then call the cops on them and then send a copy of the video to their parents
wackyman23 1
Friend had same problem. Since he lived on edge of town kids would be gone before cops would arrive. 2 months into dealing with this issue and nearly 3k in damages to the house and cars. One night his dad asks me to come stay the night as a hang out night with him and my friend (his son) and that I bring my paintball gun. The layout of the house was that it sat on a hill. On the main floor it had a patio/deck that overlooked the face of the house and the road that you had to come up to get to the house. we got lucky that we choose that because the kids had also chosen this night. about halfway through their egging they discovered that two full auto paintball guns where shooting at them from above. they panicked and ran down the street only to find my friends dad waiting for them halfway down the street hidden in the bushes with a paintball gun. (before you yell we had gotten permission by the police to use non lethal methods to deter them). in their fear the continued to run and jumped into a car and raced off. the police came. took statements and photos estimated nearly 1500 paintballs had been fired vs 30 eggs and several unopened cartons. The nice thing about a small town. is small grade counts. when someone is absent suddenly. its easy to notice.
BoredDownUnder 11
Turn off the sprinklers, put up a sign saying "do not ring door bell" and electrify the door bell
winston5 6
Buy a riot shield
ni0ve 9
....beat....them...
ekwinoks 5
Buy a gun and fire off some warning ***** next time lol
Shade1982 21
Yes, because nothing helps a situation with pranking children more than a gun... You are the reason we can't have nice things...