Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my 4 year-old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
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Top comments
FlyingLeumer 19
Looks like the yokes on you
BatmanPotato 13
I think the sprinkler idea was great, but kids always have other tactics. Try calling the cops to scare them.
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Comments (142)
toryglory 4
OP, if this has been going on for years then you gotta get a grip on things. There are alot of methods to solve this problem: 1. Call the cops. 2. Talk to their parents - let them know that you are pissed 3. Buy a hockey mask, chainsaw, and a black hoodie and wait for them stop by your house, jump out of a bush wielding said chainsaw screaming "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU" 4. Move to a different neighborhood.
Grimnirwher9 21
I'd go for #3.
yellowpablo 21
Here is what you do take pics of them egging your house then shoot bbs at them Next time
nick3600 22
Kill them
nick3600 22
Not really
mintstashinurtea 5
why dot you just call the cops and stop wasting your money
DanielleinDC 34
If you know these little brats, have you reported to their parents what they're doing in an attempt to get them to stop? Is it just you they're hassling? On to your second problem: Get motion-activated cameras to record the kids when they start vandalizing your place and tell their parents. If that doesn't work, then tell the police. As tempting as it is to shoot a BB gun or a paintball gun, that will probably get you in more trouble than the little ***** vandalizing your house, especially if one of them is injured.
cwbygmer 2
I say wait for them with a 12guage shotgun loaded with blanks when they come close fire it in the air think they would get the hint after that.
rebel_mystic 11
I was gonna say the same thing!
jsc9306 14
damn kids.
ram2006 4
aaannnd that's why you begin to pelt them with bb's or mount a pseudo-machine gun to your roof.....
homes7d 14
Ohhhhh **** them
heyyhowsitgoing 9
Get a high pressure hose