Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my 4 year-old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
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Top comments
FlyingLeumer 19
Looks like the yokes on you
BatmanPotato 13
I think the sprinkler idea was great, but kids always have other tactics. Try calling the cops to scare them.
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Comments (142)
daniel_2209 12
kill them
32CER 5
Dress up like a cop and walk outside before they begin the egging.
ukdentistfml 16
2 words: Potato launcher Think about it!
cutethulu 2
what the hell did you do to piss them off so bad?
Dthsapprntc 23
He installed a sprinkler system with a motion sensor on it.
Epikouros 32
His mom is a bitch ;)
Dthsapprntc 23
As fun as drenching the neighbourhood hoodlums is, the best thing to do would have been to just not open the door when they ring the doorbell. They would have gotten bored with the lack of a reaction and moved on pretty soon.
Dark_Stream 29
I'm sure you postal worker will be pleased.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Set up a motion activated video camera instead. Get the evidence on tape and then make a vandalism report with the police.
mythicaltimes 15
kids will be kids although over a few years is rather rough.
mnd15 10
Call the cops. Plain and simple. Or trying their parents first.
sythe511 28
Get a paintball or airsoft gun. Hide somewhere, and shoot their legs when they try to prank you. It works great on teenage would-be egg-throwers!