Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my 4 year-old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
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Top comments
FlyingLeumer 19
Looks like the yokes on you
BatmanPotato 13
I think the sprinkler idea was great, but kids always have other tactics. Try calling the cops to scare them.
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Comments (142)
MFserver 1
1. Aquire airsoft grenade launcher grenade with open tip 2. Load grenade with peas 3. Await your victims 4. Enjoyment is guaranteed. If their aiming is better than the range of the grenade, get an airsoft sniper rifle and start shooting their knees.
adamajr 4
I love the idea of a motion-activated sprinkler. I can't even think of how to set that up. Pity about the eggs. Be sly and follow them until you find where one of them lives. Don't forget to record / document when it happens.
__U__S__E__R__ 7
Motion-sensing air soft gun with face recognition. I made one once, they work great
shotgun_girl 17
Omg tell me how!
Rammer3500 23
Get sprinklers that spray out farther. Or that spray your house to clean it.