Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for a hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jackass, saying how people like him give us a bad reputation at the beach. I then saw him running to his choking daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying to relax on the beach after a stressful day, just to overhear a bunch of kids near me start fighting over who pooped in the hole they'd dug in the sand. FML
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, while at work, I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending two hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
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Top comments
Adamantoise 0
It's not your fault. He should of said "My daughter's choking!" or something. I would call the guy a jackass if he just cut in front of me.
omfgglol 0
This is F the daughter's life. Today I was at the beach eating a hot dog and I started choking. My father panicked. He ran away, and I assumed that he was going to find someone to help. He comes back with a cup filled with water. I died of asphyxiation. FML.
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Comments (131)
DLBL 23
If she's choking and can't breathe, water is not the answer! Do the Heimlich!